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Punctuality - does it matter to you?
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| najin | Date: Monday, 2009-02-02, 4:43 AM | Message # 1 |
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| “Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.”
-William Shakespeare  I never understood why it always tweaked my annoyance when someone was late. Obviously, there's a lot of leeway given to people I don't know very well, because people are entitled to their own lifestyles and I have no right to judge whether or not they value punctuality. However, I'm talking about people who are supposedly "good friends" that are chronically late. Time after time, they stretch boundaries until I'm left with an assortment of excuses for the same habit. "I had to finish something". "There was traffic". "Something came up". "I lost track of time". Sure these are all reasonable excuses, but not when they're used EVERY single time a meeting is arranged. To some degree, it may be selfish to expect those around me to value punctuality as much as I do. I totally understand that freak circumstances can prevent people from being on time. On second thought, IS it that unreasonable to expect such a seemingly-simple thing from those you care about?: "But the excuses only work a few times – and then the raw truth sets in.
People learn not to take you seriously because, frankly, they feel that you don’t take them seriously. If you did, you would be there on time. People can see through the excuses, especially if these excuses are part of a repetitive pattern, and they resent being misled. Chronic tardiness affects not only the way others see you, but also the way in which see yourself. It compromises your integrity." _________________________________ (quoted excerpt from http://www.drfibus.com/punctuality-article.html ).
That article has some other interesting bits on punctuality in the context of North American culture)
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso
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| Al | Date: Monday, 2009-02-02, 11:22 AM | Message # 2 |
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| Overuse of HDR makes Baby Jesus cry. :/
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| najin | Date: Monday, 2009-02-02, 11:30 AM | Message # 3 |
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| haha, k Al I'll remember that.
: )
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso
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| takezomiyamoto | Date: Tuesday, 2009-02-03, 12:56 PM | Message # 4 |
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| punctuality is of the utmost importance in my opinion. one reason is the one you gave, another is that i don't like to make people wait as i feel it is inconsiderate to so and in terms of work, it is unprofessional and shows poor time management. then again, that's just me. did you get to see the the revenge of the fallen trailer in the superbowl?
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| najin | Date: Wednesday, 2009-02-04, 11:44 PM | Message # 5 |
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| Quote (takezomiyamoto) it is inconsiderate to so
aaabsolutely. That's why the psychologist dude I quoted up there talks about how being late compromises your integrity and makes people feel like you don't take them seriously. Gyahh, I can't believe how peeved off I get nowadays when close-friends are chronically late. I've become intolerant!
Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks it's important... lol, funny you ask about a superbowl commercial because I youtubed literally all of them! Which one was that...?
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso
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| closer | Date: Thursday, 2009-02-05, 7:12 AM | Message # 6 |
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| Being punctual only matters in terms of business, time=money, because people are judging EVERYTHING that you do. With friends, if I already accepted them as a friend, why would i go change who they are?? And why would I want to combine the two worlds anyways?? Like the great George Louis Costanza said, "Worlds collide!!" Let the worlds be seperate and you will find inner peace... If they are late, they are late, regardless of all their excuses. Im just happy to be with them 
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| takezomiyamoto | Date: Thursday, 2009-02-05, 11:06 AM | Message # 7 |
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| najin jun! it was the transformers 2 trailer: revenge of the fallen. ai sus! tell me you youtubed that one!
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| najin | Date: Friday, 2009-02-06, 0:12 AM | Message # 8 |
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| Quote (closer) Being punctual only matters in terms of business
really? To me, punctuality is an indication of how much a good friend values my time. Time, to me at least, is valuable regardless of whether or not we're looking at the business realm.
It's a matter of culture too...I read that North American culture demands punctuality, even for personal appointments, whereas there are some cultures in the world that don't even have a system defining the time of day; everything is arbitrary and no one is late. Can you imagine?! Quote (closer) If they are late, they are late, regardless of all their excuses
Im just happy to be with them
I really like the way you look at this though. Because on second thought...no matter whether or not you value time/punctuality, you can't control other people to have the same standard. This discrepancy will only lead to you being upset when people are late; and what's the point of being upset?
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso
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| najin | Date: Friday, 2009-02-06, 0:12 AM | Message # 9 |
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| Quote (takezomiyamoto) najin jun! it was the transformers 2 trailer: revenge of the fallen. ai sus! tell me you youtubed that one!
*whimpers.
will do, pronto!
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso
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| closer | Date: Friday, 2009-02-06, 4:29 AM | Message # 10 |
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| Quote (najin) I really like the way you look at this though. Because on second thought...no matter whether or not you value time/punctuality, you can't control other people to have the same standard. This discrepancy will only lead to you being upset when people are late; and what's the point of being upset? Would you really break up a friendship because of ure friend is always late?? Thats a really petty reason to break up a friend with, there is obviously something more beneath the foundations of ure friendship if thats the case. Dating though is a whole other world! First impressions count! Keep the worlds separate! 
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| najin | Date: Saturday, 2009-02-07, 4:27 AM | Message # 11 |
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| Quote (closer) Would you really break up a friendship because of ure friend is always late??
nay, I don't really make a fuss when friends are late because I know they'd give me leeway if I were late too. You're right when you say it's a petty reason to break a friendship up for. That being said, if I told a good friend that I didn't appreciate their chronic lateness and they didn't even raise a smidgen of effort to accommodate, then I'd feel a bit iffy. I guess I've been even more sensitive to punctuality lately since my time in Vancouver is really condensed and I'm leaving next Friday :S
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso
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| closer | Date: Saturday, 2009-02-07, 6:00 AM | Message # 12 |
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| Quote (najin) That being said, if I told a good friend that I didn't appreciate their chronic lateness and they didn't even raise a smidgen of effort to accommodate, then I'd feel a bit iffy. I think u r colliding worlds here. If ure going to treat ure friendships as a dating relationship; i would be very wary to be ure friend and i think ure missing the point. My definition of a friendship is different from ures. For me: a friend is someone who accepts me for me and enjoys spending time together. Being in a relationship is different and the same at the same time!
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| najin | Date: Sunday, 2009-02-08, 0:24 AM | Message # 13 |
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| Quote (closer) I think u r colliding worlds here.
I think it's ok to preserve certain values, regardless if you're looking at a friendship or relationship. Trust, for example, is something I would value in both scenarios. I know it may sound odd, but I'd like to think that a good friend who understands my gripes with punctuality would at least make an effort to respect that, just as they would uphold trust like a good friend. Quote (closer) Being in a relationship is different and the same at the same time!
exactly. It's fine if different people have different perceptions of what a good friend is.
I respect yours and understand what you're saying. =)
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso
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| takezomiyamoto | Date: Monday, 2009-02-09, 0:23 AM | Message # 14 |
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| Quote (najin) Trust, for example, is something I would value in both scenarios. I know it may sound odd, but I'd like to think that a good friend who understands my gripes with punctuality would at least make an effort to respect that, just as they would uphold trust like a good friend. along with trust my dear, comes with understanding. to understand someone is to accept them and that leads to trust and a whole bunch of other good qualities....hopefully; if they value you as much as you do them. most people fail to understand the(ir) faults when it comes to how it affects any relationship:(
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| rombusempire | Date: Monday, 2009-02-09, 8:11 AM | Message # 15 |
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| "I was late so sorry, there was a construction site at the road and no way out." Cool, glad you made it! But if that person makes some excuse everytime, then no. It's also ok if you call ahead of time to say you'll be late. I remmeebr I was late one time meeting up with you...I THINK I was late thattime....I was on my way to Womens College and decided totake a short cut, thinkign it would work. But no. I ended up detouring and asking aussies for direction = talking to walls. So I was late. But I think fundamentlaly, that we dont like ppl being late is because it violates an agreement, a trust if you will. "Ill do this (be there by 7pm)" but they break their word. It's simialr to "ok ill write letter for you" then dont do it.
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